Rhythmic Life...

I hear the rhythm in the trees, the winds abated breath.
I feel the rhythm in the sand, the earths rumbling baritone.
I sing the rhythm of the land, a song lost to society.
I play the rhythm of the seas, like a poem flowing free.
I know the rhythm of the heart, the beat of stability.
I see the rhythm of the soul, as creativity flows from an artists brush.

Within every moment, a thousand vibrations. Enourmous possible outcomes. How you act and react to any given situation opens up, and closes many doors. As each situation is unique, so is how you are able to alter the paths around you. Not only your own, but every individual walking the face of Mother Earth. Allow greatness into your life, and let that same amazing energy shine forth. Let it be your lantern in the darkness. We all know that night is eternal, boardering on infernal. Yet that doesn't stop us from plowing forth. Listen to the tune surrounding, follow through your forceful might, and offer a helping hand to those in need. Some walk with ears attuned, others deaf as stone. Many carry candles, few a solar flare. Fortune follows the brave, and diminishes the weak. March forth with your life, and haul the lowly up the hill.

Stop being what people think you ought to be. Be who you are, as long as good intentions drive you. Reach out to the helpless, and help the ones who do not ask. He who is capable of asking, is capable of changing their own lives when given the chance.

Seeing is believing...

I see what you are. I hear what you want to be. I know you have the power to accomplish those dreams, but I fear you lack the drive. I worry about your mental state, while I think you are the most sane person I have ever met. I look at you on a daily basis, yet still don't recognize you. Your laugh is my motivator, and your tears my biggest weakness. I feel your ideas are so deep few will understand you, which draws me toward you. Your eyes are a magnet, your words a vice. Your scent is intoxicating, your taste addicting. Your beliefs are pure, your thoughts a natural disaster. Your desires are unkempt, your ambition scares me. You are the reflection of my inner child, and an image of my darkest ideas. Your flaws are without scar, and your scars without flaw. I know you as I know no other. You are me...

"Get into the practice of staring into a mirror for 10 minutes a day. Not in vanity, but in self reflection. Stare into the eyes of your soul and ask yourself if you are speaking the truth from your heart. Or repeating the beliefs and ideas of others. Take comfort in every flaw you see, because that is what makes you an individual. Not what you do well, but what you struggle to do at all. That is what is beautiful about you, the passion you have for life. To make yourself better in all things, while allowing nothing to bring you down." - Timothy Ralston

Within the darkness...

I have seen the evil that exists within the heart of men. I have seen the fires that burn there, and it has changed me. I walk with the knowledge that all is not lost, for somewhere exists peace. To the evil, consider me a being of light. I will conquer you, not with sanctomonious religious tripe, but with understanding. For that same flame boils my blood as well. Within you, I see myself. I will not fall, for there is no hole I will not climb out of. What you may see as fault, I see as ambition. What you are unable to grasp, I feed upon. Stoking my heart higher, and higher. Eventually my love for all beings will devour the planet. Only then will I find peace, and only then will the paths of fear dry up. That is my dream, to exist without fear of existence. It is the way things are when we stop focusing on the reallity of what is. Good or evil, white or black, left or right, the truth lies within the grey. See yourself for who you are, and no matter the path you take, remember your way. Breadcrumbs can be eaten, and as time takes its toll, the landmarks you see now can change drastically. A map will only get you as far as the edge, then you have to jump into the unknown. What isn't known, should not be feared, but embraced like a child in the arms of a new mother. With every minute ticking slowly away into the dark, make the choice. Make your choice. Be good, be anything really. Just remember to exist now, because tomorrow you might not. This is the grey, this is the way, and I will hold your hand within the darkness.

A lesson in altruism...

A passage from How to be Compassionate by the Dali Lama

- Adversity Helps Build Character -

"Anger destroys love and compassion, and anger is undermined by patience, which is best practiced with an enemy. Without adversaries, you could not fully engage in the practice of patience - tolerance and forbearance. We need enemies to strengthen our practice, and from this spiritual viewpoint we can even be grateful to them. In terms of training in altruism, an enemy is really your guru, your teacher. Since enemies are the greatest teachers of altruism, instead of generating hatred for them, we must view them with gratitude."

It is sometimes hard to remember that if we didn't come across people and things that caused us frustration, there would be no place for us to grow as individuals. Almost daily we are acosted by people or things that cause us discomfort, and if you are able to keep it all in perspective, there is really no better chance to grow. The key to this, is to listen and learn in all aspects of life. For instance, I stubbed my toe this morning in the dark. (After several minutes of cursing.) I came to the conclusion that I had nobody to blame but myself. Had I picked up last night, instead of going to bed, there would have been nothing for me to have jammed my toe into the back of my foot. Not paying attention to the details in my day to day life created this opportunity for Karma to lash out. But one can't say I didn't learn my lesson. The next step is to not fall back on what you have learned. I know myself, and am aware I am just as likely to forget to pick up tomorrow.

In the passage above, the Dali Lama is speaking of enemies as in the people who bring anger into our lives... this morning, my enemy was a piece of wood...

Insanity...

"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results" - Albert Einstein

Let he who is not guilty of insanity speak up now or forever hold your peace. When we are little, everything in life is a game. You look to the bottom of the stairs, and rather than seeing carpet, you see a swimming pool. Imagination... do you remember it? I do.

I grew up without a lot of friends, so imagination was a tool that I used frequently, and with abandon. I was able to derive pleasure from the simplest things. (A silk sheet I used as a wind catch.) It was old and brown, but brought me hours of pleasure. (A cardboard box that was my vehicle to the stars) Everyone else saw a packing crate, but for me it was mission control, a space ship to the moon, and most importantly a kingdom where all of my friends would greet me kindly and say "King Xane! We love you!"  As I got older, it became "Uncool" to play and imagine. You had to "Hang out" and play with real toys. If you can imagine it, I wasn't very popular.

If we continue to play imagination based games as adults without children, people look at us and think that we are mentally challeged, or insane. To this I say to you:

"I am an airplane, flying through life untouched by gravity."

"I am an olympic downhill skier, about to win my 10th Gold Medal."

"I am a dinosaur hunter out to bag the biggest T-Rex ever seen."

What, you can't see it?

I'm sorry! I truely am, but know that just because you are unable to understand, doesn't mean that I am not any of the things above. And without imagination, your life must be outrageously boring, maybe I'm not sorry for you, but I feel pitty none the less. Your everyday life must be excruciating, caught in reality as you are. Unable to fly, or swim the seas, stuck in a cubicle surrounded by silent snores. When my thoughts are at their most unbound, I couldn't even imagine something so cruel. So I am sorry.

Am I insane? Maybe. But I'm okay with it, now if you'll excuse me. I'm about run into a burning building, and save some co-workers trapped in a blaze. "Our Hero!" they'll exclaim, then lift me onto their soot covered shoulders and say, "Someone give him the key to the city!"

"Don't forget that without our imaginations, we would never have achieved anything. People saw the Wright brothers as insane... and they managed to create a flying machine." - Timothy Ralston

Then he said...

For the last few months, I have been feeling trapped. Like a bear in a, well... a trap. (Wasn't as creative as I would have liked.) It has continuously gotten worse, and worse. My job, my home, and with everyone I know. More and more weight pressing down on my shoulders until all my insides were ready to squish out my eyeballs. (How's that for creative?) I have been considering life, and who I was before now.

At one point I was carefree, I lived everyday without worry of consequence. Then one day, it changed. I can't pinpoint when it did, I can't even tell you what caused it. However something flipped, and I got comfortable with my discomfort. Suddenly I was drowning in my own life. Trying to survive, afraid to let loose, of what people thought of me. I was no longer free to be me. (Stupid non-creative bear trap...)

I just can't take it anymore! You can probably tell from my previous post that I have had it up to here (You can't see it, by my hand is really high) with all the crap that is being pushed on top of me... on top of us! Bills galore, politicians making decisions for us that has nothing to do with them, 80 hour work weeks, and not nearly enough time. Then tonight, I had what many therapists (I have problems with the fact that word spells "the rapist") might call a breakthrough.

I said, "FUCK IT!"

I am done with the bullshit I'm swimming in. Take a good look, because I am back, and this time... I'm here to stay. My thoughts, are not yours to control. In fact, they are the only thing keeping me sane. My body is my own, and where it goes, who it knows, and what it sees. Is up to me. Your oppinions matter too.... to you. What I think about you doesn't matter, what your mother, sister, uncle, minister, or third grade teacher thinks... is obtuse, and only important to them. I am tired of being afraid of where I am going, solely because someone may not like it.

And with that realization... He lived happily ever after.

No one else to blame...

Went to bed last night in a world of Technicolor, woke up this morning surrounded by gray. What happened to make me feel this way? Living in a world of people who don’t give a damn, constantly bombarded by hatred and small mindedness, it’s exhausting, it’s depressing, and it’s what we all deal with every day. But I have to ask myself why? Why is it this way? Who was the person who started this snowball rolling downhill of dark and dreary dismay? Then I trace my finger back through history at the excuses of misery thrown around like a child throwing snowballs with friends. We have replaced happiness with desire for something more, something that doesn’t exist. We have placed our belief in God, or Grace, or whatever you might call it. We have washed our hands clean of our mistakes by saying that it was meant to be… well guess what. It isn’t meant to be, things are not supposed to be this way. We use our faith in a higher power as an excuse to be evil and cruel to people who don’t believe. We have removed the possibility of forgiveness because we think that we have already been forgiven. I don’t forgive you, not any of you, you have not even tried to do anything worthy of that. I see someone broken on the street, and my heart bleeds, I feel their pain, I feel their sorrows. And you just walk by, pretending that they don’t exist. Maybe they are homeless, maybe that will be you one day, that is when I will scoff at the beggar lying at my feet. “Please, Please!” You’ll cry, and I will ask if you remembered when it was you standing in my shoes? That’s not true, I could never be so callous, I could never ignore the ignorance and cause more disdain. A helping hand is all you need, and then I’ll pray that your eyes will finally open past what you see, so you might feel what your actions and words do to others. It’s time to care about something more than what meets the eye, because one day we all will die. That’s life’s one certainty, that’s the one thing rich or poor we all share. Not one of us the better, we’re truly all the same... No one else to blame. Except ourselves, and that’s the shame…