Who am I....

Who am I? When I am by myself, when I'm not at work, when no one is holding me accountable, when I take into account all of my experiences, when I am awake, when I am asleep, when I know, when I don't know? Who am I?

I am stripped of my dignity, and lost in an ocean of ignorance. I float along the jet stream questioning every choice I have ever made that lead me to this point. Who am I?

I open my eyes every morning, I get up and I shower always asking myself what is next. Who am I?

Following in the footsteps of others, afraid to find my own path. Striking out where no other has set foot, feeling as if I am being chased by my past. Who am I?

Sitting in the floor of my closet in the dark, crying as if I have lost everything, everyone I have ever known or cared about. Who am I?

Gripping the bar tightly as the cart breaches the top of the roller coaster we call life, about to plummet into the unknown. This is where I find myself, Who am I? I don't know... I have no answer to that, but because I seek the truth, there is still hope. Because I desire this answer above all others I have ever asked, there is still hope.

At the bottom, there lies nothing. At the top, there is only fear. Fear of loss, fear of destruction, fear of everything. Agoraphobic and standing outside in the rain.

I see peace through solitude, no one asking, no one shouting. Except my inner thoughts trying to grasp clues that I have left behind during my existence. Putting the puzzle back together. Reading between the lines, looking for the small print that will answer the question that drives me mad. Who am I?

Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? The question beating a chorus in my heart. This has replaced the driving force in my life. It's no longer trying to define why I am here, it's more than that now. This goes even deeper. How can anyone have a purpose if they don't know who they are. Am I good? Am I evil? Am I brave or meek? Intelligent with a hint of naivety? Still no answers coming to me. Maybe I am hollow? Or full to the lip?

Is it not that simple? Maybe I am all these things, maybe I am nothing. Maybe not knowing isn't so bad. Maybe that is the point. Not knowing means I can be anything. Not knowing means that no matter where I am, I am me...

Now there's a thought. Where am I?