As mentioned, I'm not that attractive. I may push a 9 on the 1-10 scale.
Really? Your a 9? I'd give you a 7 at most.
A 7 is still two points above average... I'll take it, and you can suffer the scoff of my admirers. I'm sure there are some out there. Either way, I am no Tanning Chatum... or whatever. The reason why this makes me AWESOME! is that I don't take my looks for granted. I was an awkward kid... It's true.
 |
| This is the reason you should all be nice to the nerdy kid.... One day... he will climb into a cocoon, and turn into a prince... or something like that. |
After going from a 6 to a 9... again whatever... I know the power that good looks have over the general population. Lucky for you all, I have chosen to use my looks for the good of all people, by hiding it behind this blog. With that being said, I didn't let my smile drive who I have become. I didn't even let the hurtful names I was called change my bright outlook on life. I knew when people called me, Bucktooth... they were referring to the fact I had a money making smile.
 |
| Bucktooth? That's so kind... |
Yeah... they were talking about your "Money making Smile" right....
Thank you for noticing, and not mentioning the fact that I look like a girl in this picture. That's sweet.
Still, even with my universal good looks... this has nothing to do with why I'm AWESOME! It's true...
Well... then, please share... Why are you so AWESOME!? (Wait... I know I didn't hold shift... is my caps lock on? Nope... Weird.)
I'm getting there... Hold your horses. (Where the hell did that phrase come from? Never mind... that's for another post.) I digress. As I was saying... I'm not that smart. I barely outsmarted Voldemort in the Chamber of Secrets, I almost didn't survive against all of the Dementors by the lake, and god knows I just barely outsmarted him the other 4 times. (Wait... was that me?) Who cares... that's not why I'm AWESOME! either...
Pretty sure that was Harry Potter, douche...
That's right... I just skipped 4th and 5th grade, went from 7th to 9th and managed to graduate at 16. As I said before... That's got nothing to do with why I'm AWESOME!
Then please... get on with it. I'm getting bored!
That sucks for you... I think this is something people want to know. Hence why I'm writing this in the first place... It has nothing to do with being *drunk or anything.... (Clears throat) As I was saying... I'm not that unique. In fact, I am just like everyone else. Sure, I might be better looking than some, and smarter than others, but I'm just trying to get by. Just like everyone else. I know, I know, I managed to define the Meaning of Life... but does that make me special? Does that make me any different than anyone else? No! Not in the slightest.
(Silence...)
See, now that's better. Here is the part you have all been waiting for. I'm AWESOME! because of the people I know and love. My family, my friends, and my friends friends. I have learned more than I can say from these people. I have learned not only who I am, but what not to do from these same individuals. I am AWESOME! because they are AWESOME! (Wait... Stupid Windows, I was talking about other people that time... lowercase when that happens... SHEESH!) They have influenced me in more ways than I can say. They are my support system when I'm feeling down, they are my sounding board when I'm feeling creative. They are the core of who I am... you know... outside of the stuff I mentioned above. Everything I am, I owe a small part to those who surround me. So if you think I am vain, if you think I am pompous, if you think at all. Blame them!
*I am drunk for the record... this started off as a column on World Peace. So much for the Pulitzer...
 |
| Fine... I'll meet you in the middle... 8 |
No comments:
Post a Comment