I write this blog, not because I desire people read it. I write it because I spend so much of my time trying to figure out the things that don't make sense to me. To be honest, I don't understand many things right off the bat. Life is genuinely one of the most confusing things... ever. No one has it figured out, but we are all striving to do so. So that is why I write, because when I feel that I have a strong grasp on something, I share it. So that maybe you can read my words, and the same thing will make a little more sense to you. Or maybe you can take what I think, and add on to it to come up with your own ideas. If you choose to read what I write, I hope that you will continue to think on it. There are no easy answers, but perhaps together we will be able to make sense of some of the confusion.
Today I have been thinking about how things in life fit. This is a big thought process for me right now, because I am looking for a job. Recently I was laid off from my job, and while I was proud of what I did, no matter how well I faked it, I never really fit. Thinking about this, I realized I have never really fit in... not with jobs, not with the people I know, or with anything really. Society tells us that this is a bad thing, and from the time we are little we are conditioned that we have to fit a mold.
How many of you played with that puzzle toy as a toddler? The hollow little ball or cube that has all of the opening for different shapes. The point is to teach your child how pieces fit. The star goes in the star hole, the square in the square hole, etc. None of the other pieces will go into the wrong hole. It helps your spacial reasoning, but what does it do to your psychological thought processes? Is this when we start to realize that we are supposed to fit into the world like these little blocks? That there is some perfect space we can fill in life, where we just fit? What about those of us who never find our shape? Are we destined to just lie around while everyone else ends up in the cube?
As I fill out applications, and write and rewrite my my resume and cover letters to make it sound like I am the perfect fit for every job I'm applying for, it just feels wrong... like I'm lying to myself, and lying to the places I'm applying. And what drives me crazy, is that is what people expect of you. They don't really care whether or not you are qualified, they want to know that you will change yourself to be what they are looking for. It's sad, it's disturbing, and worst of all, it's required.
Why is it such a terrible thing to not fit in? Why is it so bad to be a circle trying to fit into the square hole? It's what we are all trying to do, we shave off a little bit of our selves to fit into someone else's perfect shape. We lose a little bit of ourselves every time we have to become someone else. Sure, we might gain a little piece somewhere else, but what are we giving up in the process? After all, aren't the most successful people in the world the ones who stood up and said, "NO! This isn't happening, this is who I am, and it's time you dealt with it!" That is the Rosa Park's and Martin Luther King's of the world, the Steve Job's and Bill Gates' of life. They took what they knew, and the experiences they've had and made a stand. Those are the types of people who change the world, those are the people we look up to and desire on the most basic level to be like. Yet few of us ever do anything about it, we fall in line to survive and disappear into the weave, because it's scary to be an actual individual. To have no one behind you, and nothing beneath you. To spread your wings and fly without feathers so to speak. It's not that we aren't capable, it's that it's hard, it's confusing, and it's lonely. To be the only star in a sea of squares.
To this I say to the world, "I'm done being what you expect me to be. I may not fit into the shape you want, but the shape I am is pretty amazing. Yes I might be different than what you want or what you might expect. But sometimes when you try the unexpected, that's what you get, unexpected results, and that's okay. Sure, it's nerve wrecking not knowing what's coming, but that's life. On the other hand, knowing how everything is going to turn out is boring. There is no excitement, there is no happiness, there is only quiet acceptance that this is all there is. And that my friends is so far from the truth. We live in a world of colors, of different tastes, and most importantly adventure. Absolutely I'm different... and not only is that okay, it's perfect!"
Everyone always tells you to be an individual, but it's not individuality to fit in. With everyone trying to be original, we have lost the possibility of originality, but you can be yourself. By being yourself, and refusing to become something else only because it is expected, you can still be unique. If you aren't hurting other people, then there is no reason to be anyone different. If we are all who we are, instead of being who we say we are, then the world will change around us. We might not have as much control of those things as we like, but by becoming someone else, we are giving up what little control we have.
Be beautiful, be unique, be happy, be... you.
No comments:
Post a Comment